HensDoRage

WHEN MY FRIEND ASKS ME IF I AM GOING OUT

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 15:12:00 -0400

MY PROFESSOR ASKED ME A QUESTION DURING FRIDAY MORNING CLASS

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 15:07:00 -0400

CANT DECIDE IF I SHOULD GO HARD ON SATURDAY OR SUNDAY DURING ST. PATTY'S WEEKEND

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 15:06:00 -0400

KNOWING I AM ONE WEEK AWAY FROM DAGING MY TITS OFF FOR ST PATTYS

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 18:00:00 -0400

AFTER SPENDING THE NIGHT AT GROTTOS AND LOSING AN HOUR OF SLEEP

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 17:56:00 -0400

WHEN MY 8 A.M. GETS CANCELED

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 17:30:00 -0500

WHEN PROFESSORS ASK IF YOU'VE READ THE TEXTBOOK

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 17:28:00 -0500

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS "I CANT WAIT TO GRADUATE"

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:27:00 -0500

WHEN KATES IS TOO CROWDED

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:26:00 -0500

WHEN I HEARD BENNY WAS LEAVING

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:23:00 -0500

Saturday Evening

Sat, 23 Feb 2013 20:32:00 -0500

You spent your Friday night grinding your balls and tits off at Tim’s. Obviously! As a result, you spent all morning with your head buried in the bathroom garbage can throwing up Burnett’s, Keystone, and Freddy’s. It burns the shit out of your esophagus on the way up, but felt smoother than a baby’s ass on the way down. After regurgitating your entire Friday night, you climb back into your dirty ass bed, which stinks of sweat, mold, and alcohol. You are in so much pain you contemplate various methods you could use to cause your own death. Fortunately, your body cannot handle any more stress so it is forced to fall asleep. As the garbage party slowly filters out of your body through rank ass farts and cold sweats, you start to come back to life. Your eyes open and its now Saturday evening around 730p.m.

You have never felt better. You could run a fucking marathon while reading the dictionary you feel so damn good. But why the sudden turn of events? Because its Saturday and its time to rage your fucking face off. Many people think 730 is too early to crack open the first round of Mango Burny’s or to crush your first can of golden nectar aka Keystone. Fuck that, if anything it’s too late. You make yourself a gourmet plate of sloppy eggs. After you hammer that to your face its time to call up your fellow hens. You don’t waste time calling Eric or Sandy who will say “ Oh what! Its only 730. It is too early and I have to finish a paper” Ok well guess what I have to finish? This bottle of Burny’s and this case of Stones. You call your most loyal hens. The ones who are ready to rip a shot or shot gun a lukewarm beer at the drop of a hat.

So after all 2 of your loyal hens arrive the Saturday evening pregame is ready to really start. You throw on your iPod and immediately put on Kesha “Die Young” and become uncontrollably pumped. You and your friends are out of control and getting wild for the night. Before you know it you have crushed half the bottle and chased it with at least 5 stones. It’s barely 9:30 and you have upgraded from bologna, aka are HAM. Unfortunately, it’s a bit early for the bar, but it’s about that time where some other, less loyal, hens are ready to join in.

Now you have a full-blown pre game with at least 10 hens. You know as well as I do that ten hens equals one hell of a good fucking time. The beauty of Saturday in Newark is that there is no real designated spot. The world is at your fingertips. Should you go to Kildare’s, maybe Kate’s, or Roonie’s? No one really gives a shit as long as you can find a sloppy ass hook up and demolish a personal pitcher. You make your decision and the rest is history………. Sloppiness, shots, grinding, hook ups, spills, awkwardness, and one good ass hen night! Rage the fuck on hens.

WHEN I SEE MY RECEIPT FROM FREDDYS THE NEXT MORNING

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 16:12:44 -0500

WHEN I BUY MY FRIENDS AC SLATERS

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 16:10:30 -0500

WHEN I SIGN A LEASE FOR OFF CAMPUS HOUSING

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 20:20:51 -0500

WHEN SOMEONE ASKS IF I WANT TO GO TO THE GYM ON SUNDAY

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 20:07:10 -0500

AFTER I WAS AT TIMS FOR 45 MINUTES

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 21:35:00 -0500

AFTER NACHO NIGHT AT THE DINING HALL

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 21:18:29 -0500

TRYING TO FINISH ALL THE ALCOHOL BEFORE WE LEAVE THE PREGAME

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 16:51:52 -0500

I AM LIKE

WHEN I REALIZED THERE WAS A BACK STAIRCASE AT KATES

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 16:45:26 -0500

I WAS LIKE

MY FRIEND SAID HE HEARD ABOUT A PARTY FOR THE EVENING

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 16:43:57 -0500

AND I WAS LIKE